People love talking about food

September 4

I looked in the mirror on Monday and saw what looked like a stream of blood leaking across my right eyeball.
I thought: Darn it! I'm having a stroke.
But then I remembered reading about these blood smears on the eyeball, and that, although they are hideous and make you look like you are possessed by the Devil, they are perfectly harmless, like bruises — bruises that give children nightmares.
It didn't hurt, and it didn't affect my vision, but still, you never know, so I called my ophthalmologist and set up an appointment for today.
I waited for half an hour and then he looked at me and told me that my smear was a subconjunctival hemorrhage.
“That’s harmless,” he said. He made sure I didn’t have any excessive pressure in my eye and then we talked about eggplant.
He had recently made the best caponata in his life, the key being to cook each of the ingredients separately, and to leave just a little bit of crunch in the peppers so you get contrasting textures.
I congratulated him on his caponata and talked about how I used to bake eggplant whole until the inside was mushy and then I’d add the mush to pasta sauces for vegetarian friends. It gives it nice heft and a nutty flavor.
Then I suggested that maybe he had other patients to see and he sent me off into the world to terrorize onlookers.